Monthly Archives: February 2006

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Angry and frustrated…

So many times I have come to my journal over the past weeks and months and have found myself either unable or unwilling to express what it is I so desperately yearn to be free of…   I am angry, … Continue reading

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No refuge… Not even in sleep…

Please help me… Oh God help me Screams a voice inside my head Please help me… Oh God help me Let me go… Wish I was dead   Trapped inside my head, I feel I feel the walls are closing … Continue reading

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Its all been pointless… I am just trapped fighting a war that was over years ago…

How is it that I ended up floating around in the world alone like this?   I often wonder what happened that was so bad it would cause me to walk away from two living parents… And then I wake … Continue reading

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More nightmares…

I have just woken up from a massive and extremely intense wave of nightmares and I am finding it increasingly difficult to reclaim reality right now… Primarily because the nightmares really didnt stray all that far from the truth…   This … Continue reading

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Splitting, the taxi driver and ‘Pretty Angel’…

Please Note:  This entry is not like most of my other entries… What you are about to read in parts IS horrific… This is NOT some way of enticing you to read further… Its a SERIOUS WARNING… I also want it … Continue reading

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Just exactly HOW many?

Today, as part of a conversation, a question arose: How many men have you been sexually involved with? (this includes anything from blowjobs to sex)…   I was deeply shocked at where that question took me in my mind…   The … Continue reading

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A sunset after the storm and a reconcilliation…

Well, I dont know how stable or reliable it is, but the storm seems to have passed…   As always, it feels like waking up from an intensely bad dream… And this time it happened just in time for me … Continue reading

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And a demon at dawn…

I was visited just before 8am this morning by someone I was previously sexually involved with but havent heard from or had anything to do with in quite some time…   Being that I didnt get to sleep until probably … Continue reading

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A visit from a guardian angel in the middle of the night…

Watch this space for the completed entry… Im just too tired to write about it right now… Im finally about to crash for the rest of the night… And probably half of tomorrow too at this rate… A x   … Continue reading

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