Monthly Archives: August 2007

Time to make a choice…

I dont remember falling asleep last night…   I am just grateful it happened… Well, sort of…   Last night I had nightmare after nightmare where I was trapped and fighting for my life at the same time as trying … Continue reading

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Update…

Well, its been a while I guess…   The reasons are many and varied… But to be honest, I simply cant be bothered listing them all… Im sick and tired of hearing the same messages being echoed in each and every … Continue reading

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Something to hold onto…

You are my everything…   You are my softness… You are my harshess…   You are MINE!   Current Mood:  Desperately trying to gather as many solid memories of this state of mind to hold onto before another ferocious wave … Continue reading

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Sentanced to a life without hope or healing…

I survived again…   I feel like crap today and still fear abandonment like you wouldnt believe… I keep wracking my brains trying to find a way to make this trip we were supposed to be going on happen… But … Continue reading

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Its over…

I give up…   Im not interested in fighting only to be hurt so badly over and over and over again… I love you… *BAM*… Honestly, I do… *SMASH*… Baby, how could you doubt my love? *STAB*…   STOP IT!!! … Continue reading

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Nothing left…

I hate that I am so easily replaceable…   And I hate that I am always made to look like Im not being reasonable when it hurts me so deeply… I know I am better than this… But when am … Continue reading

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Screaming out in pain…

I just want to go home…   My name is Alisa… And all I have are my music, my writing, and two daughters who will probably never really know me or how much I love them… Nothing else…   This Jade … Continue reading

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Apology…

Oh, God…   I just read my last entry and right now I wish the floor would open up and swallow me…   Less than ten minutes after I wrote that entry, I began screaming and crying uncontrollably from the pain of the … Continue reading

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Too much pain…

No matter what I do right now, nothing is even close to being good enough for Him…   So you know what?! FUCK IT! Im so over trying… And Im even more over the pain that trying and failing so miserably brings… Fuck … Continue reading

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Tired…

I am so tired…   Today, the girls and I have been going through their bedroom and clearing out the rubbish and finding things to give to charity… It feels so good to see their eyes light up when I ask them: … Continue reading

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