Author Archives: myamethystbutterfly

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Once again, I have so much I want to say, but here is not safe 😦 Right now I feel very confused… I dont know what is me, what is mental illness, and what is stress… I want to make … Continue reading →

It has been many months, I know… And sadly, it is still not safe for me to return to this sacred place of mine… yet So much has happened, and continues to happen in my life that I dearly wish … Continue reading →

Four nights ago I dreamed I fell in love with a girl… She was Anglo-Indian and beautiful… She had gorgeous big green-blue eyes, long dark wavy hair, traditional indian makeup and jewellery, and she was dressed in a beautiful traditional … Continue reading →

Last night I didnt have a single nightmare… And that was because I didnt sleep… And not sleeping was the direct result of what is currently going on with him in my life! This simply cant go on… I have … Continue reading →

Tonight I feel like a first class bitch… While I stand by what I said in last nights meltdown, what I experienced today was so much different… Today this same person was infinitely considerate, gentle, loving, and went out of … Continue reading →

You fucking want to play games with me boy?! LETS PLAY!!!! Pigs arse you dont obsessively troll my journal sites (and any other site you know I am on or that you think I may be on) looking for every … Continue reading →

Last night I learned a lesson I will not again soon forget… By watching instead of just experiencing (which I have done before but with varying degrees of what I would consider success), I was able to see things the … Continue reading →

I think that some time soon, I may be ‘coming home’ to this journal again… I havent decided yet… And there are still things I need to say that I think I will reserve for my private ‘permission only’ journal… … Continue reading →

Relief, it comes… I find it when… I am cut – (lyrics by Plumb) Current Mood:  Despairing and overwhelmed by emotions too big to feel without drowning in them…Current Music:  Cut – by Plumb…