Monthly Archives: October 2007

There has been a lot going on lately…   The court case has come and gone and without going into too much detail (because I am waaaaaaaaay too tired right now), the case itself seemed to go well from what … Continue reading →

I am afraid he is going to send someone to kill me…   The taxi driver who is on trial could realise that I am really not going to go away and he could feel so afraid of being prosecuted … Continue reading →

Im still wide awake and I dont know why…   I should be exhausted… I have taken my medication and I havent eaten sugar for a good 5 hours or more… I am too tired to do anything productive, yet … Continue reading →

Well, it would seem I have managed to take the pressure off at least for a while…   Today started horribly… I was upset… I was crying… I was insecure… I was sick… And I was stressed out like you … Continue reading →

Tonight, I had a Session at the Warehouse Dungeon with my Master…   It was an emotionally intense Session for me because I learned something I didnt realise I felt about myself… When questioned, I revealed that I hate myself… … Continue reading →

Why is it that every time I think I am finally free, even for the briefest moment, it comes chasing after me harder and more determined than ever?   I thought I had gotten to the stage where even if it were … Continue reading →

Last night I finally had the chance to come home…   It feels like I have been floating around in the big dark ‘Nothing’ having strips torn off of me by hands I cannot see… It burns inside and out … Continue reading →

Song lyrics I wrote some time ago have never described more clearly how I feel right at this moment…   And it kills me to see you resting In a silence that isnt there To know you think Im so … Continue reading →

Below is a photograph I took today of my daughters, Sarah (7 years old, 8 at the end of December) and Claire (4 years old, 5 at the end of February)…   The angle isnt the best, but their smiles … Continue reading →

Finally, something I can talk about in this journal that isnt death and suffering…   I have recently aquired a new client… This one is different to any other client I have ever had… He is different because I dont … Continue reading →